Perspective

The other day, as I commented on the more stressful aspects of it, Boyfriend asked me if ballet even makes me happy anymore, or at least more happy than stressed out. I assured him that it does, but I wondered – for a brief second, but still – am I trying to reassure myself?

Today, on the way home from visiting my mom, I almost got rear ended on the freeway (and no, I did not stop all suddenly. My car had already been stopped for a few seconds, and the other driver was probably distracted judging by their driving pattern. Probably using a cell phone. ).  I glanced in my rearview mirror and saw a truck barreling towards me. At the last minute the driver broke hard, and came to a stop what appeared to be inches from me. I was shaken, and started having flashbacks of my car accident a few years ago. The rest of the drive home was extra stressful, with me frantically glancing in the rearview mirror and driving much slower than usual.

Anyway, right before the point when I’d glanced in the rearview mirror and seen my inpending doom, I’d been thinking about ballet class and how much fun it is. Specifically I’d been thinking about our across the floor combination (saute arabesque, saute coupe, saute arabesque, saute coupe, tombe, pas de bourree, glissade, saut de chat/grand jete) and how good it feels to go flying through the air (even if it’s on the wrong leg). And about pirouettes en dedans, and how awesome those feel (the 1 out of 5 or so that I do semi-correctly on any given class day) and how those rare moments that actually feel like dancing are so amazing. I’d just been sitting there with a huge grin on my face, imagining the next time I get to do ballet. And I realized that even though there are some very tough and discouraging moments, I do love dancing. It still does make me happy, very happy. If I had to stop – due to not being able to physically, not by choice – I would be so incredibly sad.

I guess my point is that my near-accident put things in perspective. Ugh, hope that doesn’t mean that something like that was necessary for me to realize it. On the flipside, at least something good came out of it? It took forever to get my racing heart rate back down, and I think it took minutes off my life…

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4 thoughts on “Perspective

  1. EricaG

    My husband always wonders if knitting is actually fun for me because mistakes stress me out. It’s part of the fun and the challenge of it! I’m so glad that you weren’t in an accident.

    Reply
    1. kit Post author

      Yes, if it was all easy it definitely wouldn’t give me that sense of accomplishment when I actually get it right! Coincidetally, I have thought about picking up knitting for a challenging hobby when my body is not up to jumping around and stuff. Yay, creativity!
      Thanks for the well-wishes 🙂

      Reply
  2. Olivia

    I’m relieved you are ok- I thought for a second there you would have terrible news 😦 My challenge is getting back to class after this long break (August off then broken bone in foot, out of boot now though)… I could go and watch or even do barre by next week, but my anxiety makes me want to skip the commitment. Like, I get out of sync with the routine and the motivation is hard to regain. Do take up knitting- it is great to have something to do when waiting or while enjoying movies 🙂

    Reply
    1. kit Post author

      Yes, thankfully I’m fine 🙂
      Oh no, I’m sorry to hear about your broken bone in your foot. I totally hear you on losing motivation when the routine is altered. Take it easy, and hopefully when you return it’ll feel like you never left 🙂

      Reply

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